Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
