I'm so fucking centered right now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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