belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i permit you to call me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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