Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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