Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize