Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize