I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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