Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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