i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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