is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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