If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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