So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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