Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
