that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
