i jhust puked up my retainher.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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