u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
