that's an acceptable place to lick
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
