mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
