Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
