well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
