He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
