There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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