Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
