Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
