Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
