I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
