Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
