doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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