i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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