: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
