Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
