i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
