i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize