I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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