Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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