So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
