apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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