direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
They have beer where we have blood.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
