That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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