My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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