need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
