you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
