One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
