if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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