is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
