well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
