i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will be naked everywhere
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
