My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
