Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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