dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
