Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
