Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
