You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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