she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
