Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
