some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize